My clients seldom reach out to me because they feel sad. They reach out because they don’t feel like themselves. They fear they’re suffering from mental illness or cognitive decline. They aren’t. Grief is just weird.
Major life transitions, such as the death of a loved one, always change us. They force us to learn in preparation for our next level of life. Bereavement research confirms that the vast majority of us can and do recover. And, we now know a lot about how resilient healers resolve their grief. Sorrow is not your destiny. Transformation is.
My father’s passing late last year has caused me to reflect deeply on my own death. I’ve been writing a series about death anxiety, to share my process for leaning into my fear. In this piece, I share how I work through my greatest source of anxiety: fear of dying alone. In this piece, I talk about building my faith in the compassion of my fellow humans and how it will draw them around me when my time comes.
How do resilient grievers get through bereavement? They believe in their own ability to find their way forward, and do what it takes to heal their own sorrow. And research shows, most of us have what it takes.
This is my resilience pie chart. Each slice of pie shows a plot twist of my life story. The key experiences that made me more bendable and less breakable. You have them, too. It’s your own custom-made curriculum in resilience. My chart doesn’t have happy moments. I’ve had many of those. Earning my doctorate. Starting my first
Your older sister had a meltdown because you never called to thank her for lunch. (But you said thank you when she dropped you off!) Your brother’s aggravated because you bailed on watching Casablanca with him and Dad today. (But your son finally has a day off to help you haul your parents’ old furniture to