You may think this is a story I simply made up to ease my memory of a painful experience. I won’t argue the facts over whether or not humans have control over their exact time of death. But I will quibble about the word “simply.” Because there’s nothing simple about the human capacity to weave stories from the events of their lives. Storytelling is one of our most brilliant survival skills.
People often ask me “How exactly do you help people get through grief?” In this article, I lay out my process, which is rooted in “resilient healing.” Loss is a universal human experience, but we don’t have to passively live with sadness. Resilient healing gets you through the worst parts of grieving in a relatively short period of time.
When you lose someone dear to you, you need others to help you feel safe. People to hear your pain. To remind you that you’re still here, even though it doesn’t feel like it. Humans aren’t meant to grieve alone.
Grief bursts can blindside you. If they happen in public, you feel awkward and embarrassed. Having a micro-ritual in your back pocket will help you move through them quickly and get some healing from the experience.
A good grief companion has one predominant characteristic: they’re ready to enter your hell and stay there with you.
How I feel about my work? I see unfathomable grace daily. I see my clients lean into the intensity of grief and become wiser versions of themselves. That’s why I do what I do. I don’t bring faith to them. They bring faith to me.