I can trace my professional success back to my grandmothers.

Both worked outside the house, in an era where working women were rare.

Their values and life choices deeply influenced my parents.

My maternal grandmother inspired my mother to pursue her own career as a teacher.

My paternal grandmother taught my father to value independence, for himself and his children. He believed his daughter and granddaughters deserved the self-worth that comes from earning their own income and having meaningful careers. He supported my professional development.

He and my mother made funding my college education a priority, and they contributed to their grandchildren's education.

Life is an eternal echo. ~ Mecha Constantine, author

All these family members influenced how I live now. I've worked since I was age 15. I have become a lifelong learner.

I am the living legacy of my grandmothers.

Building Legacy

I’m not much for New Year’s resolutions.

I also don't like the “word of the year.” It falls out of my memory by Martin Luther King Day in mid-January.

But as 2025 rolls in, I’ve been thinking about how I can contribute to those around me, particularly the younger people in my family and social circles.

How can I be a good example? How can I inspire them?

This is what I call “legacy building.”

And while it may look like my focus is on serving others, it’s mostly serving me.

Because when I’m focused on what matters, I find joy.

New Year, New Opportunity 

We humans are hardwired to make a difference in our world.

We get in serious psychological trouble when we stop believing in the importance of our efforts. Lack of purpose can be a fast path to depression.

That’s why one of the first conversations I have with clients is about what matters to them.

How do they like to show others they care?

How do they want to contribute to their families and communities?

What committed actions allow them to connect deeply with the people in their lives?

Once we have a solid sense of what matters to us, we’ve found our guiding light.

When life gets hard, “what matters” can guide us through a fog of confusion. It’s our best guide for making no-win decisions.

When life lacks luster, pursuing “what matters” can brighten our day. And once you know what matters to you, there’s an abundance of opportunities to engage in it.

One way to figure out what matters to you is to determine how you’d like to be remembered.

Your Turn

Here’s a 2-part exercise to help you figure out what matters to you.

Let’s start by considering this thought: YOU are the living legacy of the people who raised you, taught you, and loved you.

Now, write down the names of five people you know personally. They may be living or dead. Family or friends.

How are you like them?

This will help you start to see what matters to you. Your values are reflected in the qualities you admire in others. You aspire to live those qualities yourself.

By doing so, you will keep your loved ones’ spirits alive after they’ve passed.

But there’s a second part to this exercise.

We have our own unique contributions for our families and social networks. Our loved ones’ lives also can influence us to be like them AND to do things differently. Maybe a better way. Maybe simply our way.

So, now, imagine the people who love you. The ones who will miss you after you’ve passed.

Imagine them working with a life coach like me, who assigns them this very exercise.

What do you hope they’ll write about you?

Maybe you want them to say you showed them the peacefulness of living in an uncluttered house.

Maybe they’ll say they admired your physical vitality or how you stayed young by constantly learning new things.

Maybe they’ll say you showed them the sense of empowerment that comes from managing their finances and investing wisely. Or that you taught them that well-planned family celebrations and rituals were important to building and maintaining family relationships.

Contemplating your death five times daily brings happiness ~Bhutanese folk saying

Instead of a New Year’s Resolution, vow to live your values. Pursue goals that will inspire those you love.

Live the legacy you hope will be carried forward into future generations.

My New Year’s Wish for You

My wish for you is that you recognize how deeply your life benefits others. And that your gifts will make a difference to generations who come long after you’ve left the earthly realm.

Most of all, I hope the knowledge that your life matters will give you joy in the coming year.

Happy New Year!