Me: Scout, when you die, don’t get drawn into being a cat again. It says here animal lives don’t help you progress much toward enlightenment.

Scout: How is enlightenment better than a warm lap and bottomless bowl of food?

Me: ?

Good question.

I was reading the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche, with Scout the doula cat on my lap.  It was the first time I had ever read a detailed  account of reincarnation. 

Although I had thought about reincarnation, often. Death and afterlife have haunted my thoughts as long as I can remember. As a child, I’d lie awake at night, wondering if embalming and a top-of-the-line casket could preserve my body perfectly through eternity. Eventually, I grasped the concept of soul and began wondering where it went when it exited stage left. Heaven? Hell? Atheist oblivion?  With maturity, I accepted the paradox that I can’t know for sure what happens after death, but I needed a good hypothesis to get me through. 

It was comforting to think I would be reborn again and again into the same privileged circumstances I now enjoy.

Reincarnation was the most reassuring possibility, particularly my version of it. It was comforting to think I would be reborn again and again into the same privileged circumstances I now enjoy. My life is about the best one can expect. Many loved ones. A middle class income. A privileged citizen of in a free, wealthy country. Sure, I wouldn’t mind a few tweaks in my sequel, namely less anxiety and a faster metabolism. Otherwise, I could easily settle for rebirth into my comfort zone.

Then Rinpoche’s writing brought a quick end to my assumptions. First of all, a happy rebirth depends on a mind trained to navigate the transition and my mental preparation was a good half-century behind. Who knows if I’ll be prepared to manage smooth entry into a good next life? Then there’s the core Buddhist teaching about impermanence.  Nothing continues, everything changes. Just tune into the 24/7 news to watch constant global upheavel. I’m sure you’ll agree, the Buddhists nailed it. 

How on earth did I think I could ever return to life as I know it?  Who knows what challenges might await my future self? 

We have to nourish our insight into impermanence every day. If we do, we will live more deeply, suffer less, and enjoy life more.

I was brought instantly to a state of gratitude. Appreciation not only for my affluence, but for my fully functional body, clean air, drinkable water, the books I get to read, the things I can study, the jokes I can safely tell in public. I was flooded with thoughts of all the good things I was taking for granted, in this life and the next. I have so much right now. 

As so often is the case, my contemplation of death brought me back to life.